In the last week I was fortunate to talk to two parents who are great athletes, have children who are athletic, and are coaches within our community. They both provided similar coaching and parenting styles and are trying to install that in their children and the athletes they coach; work ethic, connections, giving back, and having fun.
The one coach doesn’t care if her children or athletes she coaches are the fastest, the best shooter, or the best players in the state. She cares about how much they are willing to work, what they give back to our society and the compassion they have for people in our world. The other coach hopes that “sports teaches our kids teamwork, collaboration, the importance of the “team” and the unselfishness of I”.
It was rejuvenating talking to both parents. The one coach is not only trying to teach her players how to improve in their game, she is trying to get them to think beyond the game and what life has to offer them. As she said, most kids these days take things for granted and things come easy for them. They are rewarded and praised with every accomplishment they make. They also don’t appreciate what they have been given and can take things for granted. The other coach has three expectations from his kids and his athletes: have fun, play hard, have fun.
This led me into a conversation of perspective and how things change when you see or live a different experience. When I see Kayla’s friend skiing every week with a harness, two ski guides, and extra ski’s attached to the poles to provide more stability, that is determination. When I see her other friend only communicate through an IPAD and have limited mobility but swims several times a week and is amazing, that is strength. Both of these girls are resilient. They have to work so much harder to accomplish things like their peers. But for them this is the norm. They were born with their disability and have learned to work hard, not give up, and have fun.
My hope is that more coaches and parents will follow the wisdom by these remarkable people that I know and by Kayla’s two friends. At the end of the day it does not matter how many goals/points your child scored, whether they won or lost, what team they play for, or what their record is. What matters is if they are healthy, working hard, and giving back to their community. No matter if your child has a disability or not, this one parent/coach said it precisely right: “at the end of the day I want my child smiling, laughing, and creating lasting memories in whatever sport they choose to play”.