When I get together with friends who have children on the spectrum, we realize that no child with autism is the same. All autistic children have different things that they like and dislike. One thing my friends and I do share is the overall set of challenges we face raising a child on the spectrum. But more importantly, we all love to share the strengths of our children and the beauty that they bring into our lives and the lives of others.
April is Autism awareness month. Although autism presents very differently with every child, autistic children all bring some wonderful things to our lives. I want to share all the positive things that Kayla has brought to our lives.
Visual Memory
Kayla has always taken in the world visually. She can remember events in full detail that occurred years earlier that I completely have forgotten. Although her executive functioning skills are not the best, she will be able to recall where she has left something, where her sister placed something, or how to get someplace. She has over 20 dolls, all with names, ages, and she can recall where each one came from.
Detail Oriented
During the snow days we had a few weeks ago, I noticed Kayla being pretty quiet for about 30 minutes. When I went up and checked on her she was so proud. She had organized our entire bathroom. Every hair tie was organized by color, all the toothpaste in one drawer, soap in another, toilet paper stacked under the sink. I asked her if she’d organize her sister’s bathroom next!
Alarm Clock
Kayla is never late for anything in the morning. Whether it is school, going to Boston, or going on a trip, she is up and ready. Her internal alarm clock is anywhere between 2:00 AM – 4:00 AM. She has had a snack, breakfast, gotten dressed, played dolls, and been on YouTube by 7:00 AM. Kayla also is able to remind you of any events that she has that day. Whether it is a hockey game, party, dinner, or meet-up with a friend….she will question you ALL day about when she will be going to her activity. This is a wonderful benefit in case I forget!
Empathy & Compassion
Kayla truly sees the good in all people and in life in general. When she makes connections with individuals, they are genuine. She truly cares about her friends and family. She loves to give hugs and snuggle with her true friends. She wants the best for her friends and wants them to be happy. When her hockey team wasn’t playing well during one game she told them to “relax, play defense, and play with confidence”. When her friends are feeling sad, Kayla sincerely feels sad also. She is truly a great friend and cares deeply for people she is connected with.
Happiness
Kayla is always positive and determined. Although she might not be able to keep up with her peers or do the same activities as her peers, she’s confident in herself! She thinks she is good at reading and math, even though she is not on grade level; she says she is a fast runner, even though her legs don’t move that quickly; she believes she is an amazing hockey goalie, even though she can’t skate. She will try things over and over, even when they are difficulty for her. Whether it is rock climbing, skiing, skating, or learning to ride a bike, Kayla will always persist.
Although Kayla sees the world very differently than most of us, I am positive she will do something pretty amazing down the road. Whether that is helping out kids that have special needs, taking tickets at a sporting event, or being an equipment manager, her resiliency, love of life, and her innate desire to help people will take her far, even if she is autistic.