“I don’t have any friends at my school because I am different and I wear braces” says a voice choked with tears. These are the words my daughter relayed to me while in the car coming home from school. She continued to talk how people pick on her because she wears braces, how a girl continually tells her “I am not playing with YOU today”, and how another girl says “MOVE out of my way!” as she is climbing up a structure that Kayla is trying to maneuver. It was a breaking point for Kayla as she cried and a heart wrenching thing for me to listen to and see.
This led to a conversation about how many friends she has outside of school. She was able to name so many: Connor, Lucia, Adam, Max, Delaney, Bella, Thomas, Abi, Adam, Will, Madi, Griffin, Charlie…. We then had a conversation about what a friend is. We talked about how all of her friends are respectful, make her laugh, give her hugs, stand up for her, encourage her, and wait for her. Her friends NEVER pick on her because she wears braces, can’t keep up, or acts a little different. These are her true friends.
The reality is is that Kayla does not have many friends at her school. She is never invited to children’s birthday parties or asked over for playdates. This has been the norm for the last three years, and I have accepted this. But to see her cry, make the connection of her being that she is different, and deal with kids not being nice was not easy to listen to. I know she will be okay. She is a happy-go-lucky girl who has a lot to offer and will thrive off the wonderful connections she has made in her community. Just another bump in the road of having a child with special needs, I told myself hopefully.