I have always said that community is key to helping families who have a child with special needs. When families feel supported by their community, whether that is accessibility in a grocery store, accessible programs or activities, or being part of team through a school, a sense of community helps the family feel like they belong. But as Kayla gets older I am realizing that she wants to feel a different kind of connection: a connection with peers. Many special needs parents talk about their child not having many friends in school. Many special needs children have impaired social skills that can make friendships challenging. Their ability to connect with peers could be impeded by their inability to communicate, their physical limitations, or in some cases their plain “quirkiness”. Whatever the reason, many of them don’t develop that special bond with another peer. I throw Kayla in as many adaptive programs as possible. Whether she … [Read more...]

This week, I was able to connect with two different mothers who have children with special needs. Although our children’s disabilities are different from one another, we made many connections as parents. We talked about our children’s strengths, weaknesses, activities that are available to our children, IEPs, navigating the system, etc... But what resonated most was the struggles that we all face while raising a child with special needs. Both of these women are amazing, loving, and intelligent mothers. They have both learned the importance of personally advocating for their children. Whether this advocacy takes the form of asking the school district to provide more services, navigating their healthcare to pay for medical services or equipment, or speaking out about the challenges they face on a daily basis, these women expend a lot of energy advocating for their special needs children. These women also talk about the challenges that … [Read more...]

I talked to a father the other day whose child is 21 years old and on the autism spectrum. This father told me about the many challenges that they have already faced as a family and the challenges that might lie ahead. But the part of our conversation that resonated most was the importance of connections and community, both for the child and for the family. So here I was a few Tuesday's ago out on a trial bike ride with Kayla when we ran into a family I had come to know several years ago. I told them what I was doing and they willingly offered me their deluxe Chariot bike trailer/jogger for the race. I took them up on their offer and picked up the Chariot. This all happened because of a connection. But this is more than a simple connection. Megan and Tyler Barnes run Crossfit Threshold in South Burlington. Crossfit is an intense exercise program that has taken off nationally and internationally. You might think that Crossfit is only … [Read more...]

Over 20 years ago, I was hired to help a grandmother watch her grandchildren during the summer.  She played tennis, ran, was an avid gardener, sang at her community church, and, four days of the week, she took care of five of her grandchildren, all of whom were under the age of 5. Needless to say, she had the day scheduled down to the minute, and her grandchildren knew what to expect at every moment. I learned a tremendous amount during that summer. I learned how structure, routine, and consistency were vital in children’s lives. I learned how to appreciate the outdoors: whether going for walks, tending to the garden, or playing games, children thrive in the outdoors. But what I gained most from that experience was an understanding of the love that she had for her husband, her children, and her grandchildren. I learned the importance of family. This inspirational woman always spoke so highly of her children, grandchildren, and … [Read more...]