Kayla has loved attending the kids club at the resort we stay at during our summer vacation. She loves the staff, the activities that are offered, and swimming in the pool. Out of the dozens of times Kayla has attended the kids club during our summer vacation, she has never connected with another peer. Given the short amount of time the program runs and the various kids participating, it is difficult for her to navigate and make those connections.
This year when I dropped her off she was greeted by a young girl who kept asking her questions and invading her space. Kayla began to shut down and didn’t want to stay. I had to politely tell the young child to give Kayla some time and she will begin to talk to her. When the child gave Kayla her space, Kayla slowly transitioned into the program. For the first time, I left not knowing if Kayla would make it through the day.
When I picked her up at the end of the day she said that her new friend would be joining us at the pool. Thinking about how many times Kayla had been disappointed when her friends don’t show up, I just went along with the plan and took her to the pool. I was hoping for her sake that this new friend would actually show up.
Off to the pool we went. She jumped right in and found her friend. She swam up to him and started chatting to his parents like she had known them for years. Finally, I went up and introduced myself. Kayla and her new friend swam together for a couple of hours. As Kayla was making plans for the following day with her new friend, I took down the mother’s phone number in case we wanted to set something up.
Kayla spent three days with her friend. For three days all she constantly talked about when they were going to get together, what they were going to do, where they should go, etc. She clicked with this young boy. I have never seen anything like it. She was excited to see him, spend time with him, tell him things and do things with him. She even stepped out of her comfort zone by signing up for a watermelon eating contest because her friend signed up.
The last day was spent at the beach, eating lunch together, participating in the watermelon eating contest, and swimming in the pool. To top it off, we had to visit the donut wall (a wall filled with over 1000 donuts to be consumed by hotel guests). At the end of a fun filled day, the two friends were making plans for that night. I gently had to remind Kayla that we might not be able to see her friend tonight as she had a very long day. We said our goodbyes, thanked each other for bringing joy to our children, and hoped we might see one another again.
Kayla perseverated on seeing her friend and when I told her we could try to see him in the morning she began to sob. She was filled with sadness that she wouldn’t see her friend again. She shook and cried for over 20 minutes all because of her care for her new friend. I have seen this sadness only a handful of times and it’s always when someone she deeply cares about leaves (usually her UVM hockey team members graduating).
I reminded Kayla that with today’s technology we can always stay in touch with people. She can facetime, write, or text her new friend. Once Kayla had calmed down, I asked her why she was so sad, and what made her friend so special. “He was funny, nice, and would always say hi to me. He was the such a great friend and I might not see him again.”
I will have to say, we’ve never had a vacation like this before. Usually Kayla just swims at the pool or beach with us. She might occasionally say hi to one of the counselors but forming a close bond with a peer does not usually happen in such a short period of time. To spend 3 days with a family we knew nothing about is not my norm. I will have to say it was fabulous. This family was incredibly kind, very flexible, and understanding. I felt completely at ease and watching Kayla interact with their boy was magical.