We want to share this incredible piece written by a mother who has a 4 year old daughter on the autism spectrum.
Someone once asked me once if A could laugh.
I was taken back by this because of course she can laugh, she has the most contagious laugh ever. The most sincere laugh I have ever heard. When she laughs, you can’t help but laugh with her.
But then I had to think back to before Autism.
Did I actually know what nonverbal meant? Did I even know what Autism meant? And the answer is NO.
The truth is, I don’t think anyone really knows what it means. Some of it is being naive but some of it is because what we think of Autism if not entirely true.
The person that asked me this question wasn’t being mean, they just didn’t know. They have seen movies like Rainman or they may have met someone who has Autism and just put all Autistic individuals in this little box believing that everyone on the spectrum is the same. I can’t blame them for this because truth be told, I thought the same way before I had my beautiful daughter. At 4 years old, she has taught me so much. She has taught me valuable lessons that I never thought I would or could learn from someone so young.
Being nonverbal doesn’t mean that an individual is just silent and has no emotion. Sometimes A is the LOUDEST person I know. For A, nonverbal means that she has no words but this does not mean that she cannot communicate or doesn’t have something to say. She communicates quite well and most times she is the sassiest little kid I have ever met. I sometimes call her the Great Manipulator because most days she can get almost anyone to do something for her even if she is more than capable of doing it herself.
So what is nonverbal exactly?
Well, it can mean a lot of things.
As I mentioned, A has no words. She sometimes will have a Mama, Dadda, or Baby and sometimes will have verbal mands like “Ba” for ball. These words are not consistent and somedays she is very vocal while other times it can be weeks or even months before I hear them again. Other individuals who are nonverbal do develop the ability to use a few words in a meaningful manner but are unable to carry on a conversation. Others can speak but do not have the ability to use language in a meaningful way. So as you can see nonverbal can mean many things.
Just like nonverbal means many things so does Autism.
Ever since I entered this world, I have yet to meet someone that is exactly the same. Don’t get me wrong, there are similarities but everyone on the spectrum is different in their own unique, beautiful way. If you listen closely, you will find that individuals on the spectrum are just like everyone else. They have emotion, empathy, humor, intelligence, thoughts, ideas… the list goes on and on. But you have to LISTEN. Not just hear but listen.
Four years isn’t a long time and I am far from an expert but what I will tell you is this. With all the fears I had for my daughter at the beginning of this journey, I have now come to realize that she is the most amazing person I have ever met. Yes, fears will always be there but with each passing day I know that Autism itself is not something to be feared. I know that she will have many obstacles in life but she will also have many joys in life. These joys she shares and everyone that meets her will tell you that her joy rubs off on you and you can’t help but be happy around her. She has this special power to make your worst days better.
My mission in life is to spread Autism Awareness and let you know that we are ok. While there are many bumps in the road, we will be ok. With education and acceptance, we will be even better.
Lighting it up Blue is not just April 2nd but it is every day for us. My only hope is that even if A touches one heart and educates one person, that there will be less stigma on Autism. I hope that there will be more acceptance and understanding because at the end of the day she and everyone on the spectrum is worth a chance.